Second Chance
by dolphinfan
Summary: Five months after Tanya's tragic death, Edward deals with the later stages of grief. He tries to forget about her but can't. After meeting Isabella Swan through his sister Alice, Edward over comes his grief when he and Bella bound over similar tradgitie, but can Edward love again or will grief destroy him?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

If you got a second chance at life and love would you take it? When your life is suddenly taken away things change. It was 10pm, on Saturday when my girlfriend Tanya came in. She turned off the T.V. right in the middle of a movie I was watching. It was one of my favorites Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. She stared at me with her arms crossed and tapping her foot at the same time. I looked up at her wondering what I did wrong. I never seen her so mad. I set the remote down then looked at Tanya.

"Um, you know I was watching that." I said.

"So" she said.

"Is everything alright, babe?" I asked, "You seem upset."

"You think!"

I sat up on the couch. I noticed a pink suitcase on the floor. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I knew it wasn't good. I had a bad feeling she was leaving me for some reason. Though I couldn't see why. We had been happy together and we're practically engaged even though I hadn't popped the question yet. Something was bugging Tanya I could feel in the back of mind.

"What's with the suitcase?" I asked with curiosity

"I am leaving." she exclaimed.

"Um...why?"

"Ugh, think Michael al you do is watch T.V. and drink beer."

"And you're leaving for that."

"No, I am leaving you because you never spend time with me anymore."

"Please Monica, don't do this?"

"Edward I'm tried of arguing with you about this." she started to yell.

"Tanya I-I-I can change that will do something just please don't leave." I replied in tearful voice.

She shook her head as grabbed the suitcase and walked out the door. I tried to stop her but when I got outside it was too late she had already gotten her car and drove off. I couldn't believe she was gone. I didn't understand what I did wrong. I went back inside of my apartment and sat back on the couch. I thought to myself maybe she was right maybe I didn't spend as much time with her as I should have. I know I had been busy at work. I'd been working late most days and coming home late. It still was no excuse why I didn't spend time with her.

~ Two _Weeks Later_ ~

I couldn't take it anymore I had to call Tanya. I hadn't heard from her in over a week. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I had a plan to win her back. I dialed her number on my cell. It rang 4 times when I got her voice mail. Which Said:

_Hi this is Tanya. I'm sorry I am unable to answer my phone right now, please leave your name and a brief message and I will return your call as soon as I can. Thank you._

"Tanya, It's me Edward. Call me when you get this message I really need to talk to you. Please!"

I waited for her to call me back. It seemed like an eternity before my phone rang and the caller ID said it was Monica's number. I quickly answered the phone.

"Hello" I answered.

"Hi Edward." Tanya replied back.

"Hey I was wondering if we could talk."

"About"

"About us" I said.

"What about us, Edward?"

"Are still mad at me?" I asked her.

"Yea kinda, why"

"Listen I just what to talk and work things out."

"Edward, there is nothing I have to say to you."

"Tanya, please!"

"No, Edward. I have to go I have get back to work."

She hung up the phone before I could say anything else. I rolled my fingers through my hair as I sighed in disappointment. I had a feeling she was never going to talk to me at all. The next day I tried calling her again to see if I could get her to just talk to me.

"Hello" she answered her phone.

"Hey Tanya it's me."

"What Edward?"

"Tanya can we please just talk?"

"No, there's nothing to talk about." She said annoyed.

"Tanya, please." I said.

"Ok, fine, I'll be off at work at around 7 pick me up then."

"Ok, I'll see you at 7." replying as I hung up the phone.

I was relieved to hear that she finally was willing to talk to me after two weeks, I was looking forward to seeing her as well. I went out immediately to get some roses and chocolate. I stuffed them in my refrigerator when I got back to my apartment.

I stepped in my closet after showering to look for my best shirt. I found the one Tanya gave me for Christmas last year. It was maroon with small brown buttons down the front. I also found a pair of black jeans and black sports jackets. I even sought out a pair of dress shoes too. I got dressed combed my hair and put on some cologne. Before leaving I made sure I had the roses and chocolate from the fridge. I locked the door of my and headed to my car. I left a little bit early just to give myself some extra time to through traffic. I text Tanya to let her know I was on my way.

_**From: Edward**_

_**Hey on my way. See you soon.**_

_**Sept. 18,2010**_

As I arrived at Wal-Mart where she worked I waited outside for her to come out. When I saw her I stood by my car with the flowers in my hand and smiling as she walked to my car. She walked up with a friend and said her goodbyes.

"You never said your boyfriend was so damn hawt, Tanya." Her friend said looking at me with a crooked smile.

"Shut up Kate," Tanya laughed back.

"See you tomorrow Tanya." Kate said.

Tanya and I smiled at each other as Kate walked off towards her car.

"Are those for me?" Tanya asked.

"Well they were for my girlfriend, but I guess you could have them?" I joked with her.

"God Edward your such an asshole."

"An asshole who loves you."

"I thought we were going out to talk?" She said smiling.

"We are can't you take a little joke?"

She shook her head smiling as she took the roses from my and complimenting me. She looked beautiful as ever. We got in the car and headed for the Olive Garden in the same plaza as the Wal-Mart. It was one of her favorite places to eat. It was usually very busy so we had to wait for a table. We sat outside on a bench not saying a word to each other. The night air was cool. I looked over at Tanya. Her hair had been tied back showing her face. She looked younger. The moonlight outlined the features making her look pale. She was beautiful. As I admired her beauty the table coaster vibrated. I tapped Tanya on the shoulder. We headed into the restaurant. The hostess led us to our table.

"So what do you want to talk about?" She asked me with a straight face.

"Listen I'm sorry I didn't spend more time with you." I said looking in her eyes.

"Edward you think that it easy for me to just take you back?" She asked shaking her head. "I mean you've graduated from college and have great job, but I'm..."

"Tanya it's okay we can work things out you know that." I said touching her hand.

"I know but I'm still going to school four days a week and it's hard for me, I love you Edward."

"I love you too Tanya. I want to be with you for the rest my life."

"Really?" she said with a smile and tears running down her face.

"Yes, really I 'm sorry that I haven't spent much time with you. It's just been very busy at work and I have had a lot on my plate." I reassured her.

"I know. I'm sorry too."

"Can you forgive me?" I looked at with a puppy dog pout.

"Yes" she laughed.

After dinner we headed out the restaurant holding hands. At this moment I knew everything was going to be okay. We got in the car and headed back to the apartment, she said she would move her stuff back in on Monday. I was relieved that the woman I loved was back in my life again. We got to the light and I was about to turn right when:

"EDWARD LOOK OUT!" Tanya screamed as and SUV came speeding through the signal.

**Five Months Later**

I remember that night of the accident. It was late I was driving home from dinner with Tanya when an SUV ran the red light at the intersection that we were at. Tanya, my girlfriend of four years was sitting in passenger side when the SUV hit us. My car had rolled over several times before coming to a stop. She was killed instantly and I survived with serious injuries. The police at the accident had said the driver was intoxicated. His alcohol level was well over the limit. The driver of the SUV died later in the hospital.

When I woke up a day later I was told by the nurse that Tanya she didn't make it. I started to cry. My Tanya, my sweet Tanya had gone, never to be my wife, the mother of my kids. Oh how cried for her, my beloved. The memory of the night still haunts me in my dreams. A few weeks later her funeral was held, when I was released from the hospital I went to see her grave. I put roses on her stone because they were her favorite type of flowers. Tears flowed on my face as I stared at the grave site. _Edward, Edward, Edward...__  
_

"Edward, are you okay?" I heard someone say. When I realize who it is my personal assistant, Angela. She had blonde hair that was tied back in a ponytail. She had freckles on her nose and cheeks. She was beautiful like Tanya was. Angela had been my P.A. for only a few months, but she did her job and did it very well. When I realize where I am, I'm sitting at my desk in my office. My computer screen is on the screensaver with pictures of Monica and me on our first vacation together in Hawaii. Angela, still looking at me with her bright bluish green eyes and looking concerned.

"Are you crying?" She asked with concern.

"No, I…" I cut of myself when I touched my face and it was wet.

"Edward, sir are you sure you are O.K.? You've been out of it all day."

"No" I said wiping my face. "I am not feeling very well I think I will go home for the day. Cancel the rest of my appointments for today." I told her.

"Yes, Sir." she replied.

I unlocked the door of my car and insert the key to the ignition. I sat there for a moment then bust out crying and thinking to myself. _"Oh Tanya my love why did it have to you, so beautiful, kind, smart, and talented, why did you have to go. Why could it have been me who died in that crash? Why, Why, Why, Why. Oh God why did you take my Tanya? Why." _After coming back to my sense I start my car and head for home. I pull out of the parking garage and head for the freeway. I kept thinking about Tanya. I thought about how beautiful she was. How her green eyes shined in the moonlight. The way she wore her in a loose ponytail that laid on her shoulder.

That night I couldn't eat, so I went straight to bed. I dreamed about Tanya and I sitting on the beach laughing. It was peaceful but quickly turned into a nightmare. I saw Tanya laying on the ground motionless I reached out to her. I awoke the next morning in a cold sweat. My stomach felt like a knot making me feel queasy. Yesterday I was so out of it and today I felt sick. I called Angela to tell her that I still was not feeling well and was not going to make it in for the rest of the week.

"Would like me to reschedule your appointments, sir?" She asked me.

"Yes, please" I said.

"OK, when would be back in?"

"Can you schedule them for Monday, Angela?"

"Sure I will do that. Hope you feel better sir."

"Thanks Angela."

After talking to Angela, I decided to visit Tanya's grave, on my way picked up some roses. When I got there Her mother was there. She noticed me and hugged me. Carmen Denali was always kind to me when Tanya was alive. She had told I would always be welcome in her family. In a sense to her was practically was family considering Monica and I had been together for so long. I sat there for a while, thinking. I read her gravestone it read:

**Tanya Isabella Denali**

**May 18, 1987-September 12, 2010**

**A Loving Daughter and Friend to all**

As I read these words I felt tears fall down my cheeks. She was my best friend. Some one who I could talk to about anything and I missed her so much. It had only been a few months since her passing, but I just can't seem to come to grips and let her go. I loved Monica so much; to know she is no longer by my side is heartbreaking. We had so much planned for our future. We had planned to get married on the Isle of Wight. We planned to marry at the hotel where we met, the Lakeside Park Hotel. She was with friends it was spring break and invited them to the Liquid Lounge. I had found out we were going to the same University.

Later that day I went to Starbucks to just be by myself. I order my usually Vanilla latte with extra crème. Tanya and I would always go to Starbucks every morning before work. I remembered the first time I had asked her to join me for a cup of coffee. Life seemed so perfect with Tanya I still couldn't believe she was gone. In some ways I new my life would change and would never be the same. She was my world and it crashed when she died. I really felt I would never be happy again.

"Excuse me sir, I are done with that?" said a sweet voice.

I looked up and saw a young lady standing there with a tray, she asked again.

"Are you done with that?"

"Um…yes thank you?" I replied.

She took my empty coffee cup and place on the tray. She smiled at me then walked away. She seemed very carefree a lot like Tanya was. Watching attend some others people across the room at a table next to mine, I notice her name on her name tag, it said _"Isabella". _I stared to look in her direction. When she saw me looking she smiled. I tried to pretend I wasn't looking, but something about her seemed very familiar. I seen her somewhere before but can't think where. I left the Starbucks thinking about what life was like before Tanya was killed. My heart was broken and I thought that I would never find love again, but I couldn't give up hope. I went back to my apartment to work on some articles for CDT. I kept thinking about the girl at Starbucks. Her name sounded so familiar. I have heard it before but where?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The next morning I awoke felling a little better. I went into the bathroom to shower; when I looked the mirror I noticed my eyes looked tried. I noticed how my blue eyes looked very bloodshot. As though I had been hung over. I hadn't had a drink for the last few days. My hair looked like rats nest. I combed my long fingers through my brownish blonde hair. After my shower I got dressed. I put my on jeans and a t-shirt. I had decided today that I was going to make a visit to see my sister Alice. I always could go to her for comfort and right I needed one of her special hugs.

I called her on my cell "Alice" I said as I heard the phone being picked up.

"Edward, It's so good to hear your voice. How are you?" She said with a smile in her voice.

"Not to good," I replied rubbing my nose, "I was wondering if I could come over and talk."

"Sure, of course. I'm always happy to see my older brother."

"Thanks, Alice."

I pressed the end button then put my shoes and jacket on and for the door. Alice lived in a large house with her husband and her three kids. Her and husband lived in a five bedroom house near the school where their kids went. It was a two-story house with a large back yard. I knew her kids would not be home at this time of day for they would be in school. I love my niece and nephews very I just that this would be a good time for to talk to because wouldn't be distracted and didn't really want to have to deal with a bunch of kids running around.

She had married Jasper after graduating high school because she had gotten pregnant. Jasper felt it was the right thing to do. Jasper was older then Alice by a year. She loved him very much. As walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. I waited for my sister to answer. As I stood there I heard the door unlock and the door opened.

"Hi, big brother?" She said with a smile hugging me.

"Hey Alice," I smiled back.

"Come in, Come in. It's so good to see you. Are you ok you look pale?"

"I'm fine. I just want someone to talk to right now."

"You know you can always talk to me Edward."

"I know that's why I came."

"So what's on your mind?"

"A lot of things."

"Well let's talk at the table. I'll make some coffee."

We walked into the kitchen and I sat at the table. It was round with six chairs. There place mats in the center, which had just been cleaned from breakfast. A napkin holder was sitting next to them empty. My sister kept her house very clean. She was always very clean even when she was a child. I remember her room was always cleaner then mine. As Alice brewed the coffee she grab two cups from the cupboard and placed them on the counter. When the coffee was done she poured some in each cup. She put two spoons of sugar in hers and some milk. She left mine black because that's how I like it.

She brought them to the table and sat down. I started talking to her about what happen the other day and yesterday. I told that I felt sick to my stomach I even told her how I had busted out crying after I left work early. I mentioned I went to Tanya's grave and remembered our plans to get married, where we were going to have the wedding. She shook her head and placed her on mine as tears rolled down my face.

"Hey it's going to be OK Edward." she aid with concern.

"It's been at least five months since the accident," placing my hand around my mouth sighing cry fully. "I just can't seem to let her go."

"Oh Edward, you need to try. I know it's been hard on you and I know you loved her."

"I just don't what to do." I said in a cry full voice.

"Maybe you to get out with friends or something to get your mind from thinking about Tanya."

"Maybe your right" agreeing with Alice." I should call some the guys and go tonight. It would get me out for awhile."

I continued to talk to my sister for a while. It was good to talk to her she always new how to cheer me up. We about when we kids and laughed at the good times we had. The mud pies we made and how our mother would yell at us for getting our clothes dirty. I finished my coffee and left my sister house after about couple of hours. Once in my car I got my cell phone and called Eric. He had been my best since I was 12. He always talked to me no matter what even if I didn't call for while. I dialed his number and it rings.

"Hello" Eric answers.

"Hey Eric it's me" I said.

"Hey man, what's up?"

"I was calling to see if you had any plans tonight?"

"Na, just the same old same old. Why, What did you have in mind?" he asked.

"Well I have been thinking about Tanya lately and was wondering if we could some the guys together and go out?"

"Sure man absolutely. I'll give Tyler and Mike a call and will meet at McDuffy's." He said.

"Ok, sounds good Eric. See you there." I said as I hung up.

I sighed with relief sat in my car for while watching the neighboring kids walk home from school.

I met my friends at McDuffy's around 7 o'clock. I took a taxi because tonight I was going to get drunk and possibly find some girl to take home and have sex. I hadn't gotten laid in over five months and tonight I didn't care. Before I left my apartment I made sure I put plenty of condoms in my wallet. I saw my friends waiting for me at a table. They waved me over, Tom handed me a beer and we started talking like old times. Tonight was a guy's night out, no girls. I shook hands with all of my friends that I hadn't seen in while.

"Hey Ed, how's it going?" Mike said as he greeted me.

"Good" I replied back.

"Eric tells you been thinking about Tanya." Said Emmet.

"Yea, I have been thinking about her a lot." I said to him. " I just can't seem to let her go, I don't know why."

"You loved her man. It's okay you'll find someone else." Eric said put his hand on my shoulder. "Will help you. After all what are friends for."

I smiled and said: "Thank you, Eric."

"Hey what do you say we order another round?" Emmet says emptying his glass. We order another round of beer when Mike holds his glass up and says:

"Let's toast a cheer to our good friend Edward, who we love like a brother, May he find love and happiness again."

"I am his brother." Said Emmet looking at Mike.

"I know" Mike replied back. "Can we just make our toast without you reminding us?"

"Fine."

"Cheers" we all said tapping glass together.

As the night went on and several beers later, we came across some girls who had came over to our table and talked with us. One of them for a second looked an a lot like Angela, but I quickly realize she wasn't. Her personality was completely. We all got pretty wasted before heading home. As for me I ended up taking the Angela look a like.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When I awoke the next morning my head felt like I had been hit by a freight train. I looked next to me and find myself next to a blonde haired girl sleeping in my bed. I look down under the covers at my cock to find the condom still on filled with semen. I got up and removed the condom. I discarded it into the trash.

The girl who woke up to stirs, I look over she is very beautiful. Her hair is a mess and she says:

"Good Morning." she says with a smile. "Was it good for as it was for me?"

"I've had better." I said smirking.

"Awe, how about other round?" she asked

Smiling I say, "No, Thanks."

"Fine" she said disappointed.

I went in the bathroom to go shower while she put her clothes back on. I heard the door slam shut as she left my apartment. It's noon on Saturday, my mother calls me to talk. She heard form my sister Alice that I had been down lately and she called to cheer me up. I talked with her for a while; it felt good to talk to my mom. It always is a pleasure to hear her voice.

My mother Emse was the type of person who would give you a big hug when you had a bad day or feeling sad. She had a big heart and took care of my sister and me. My mother lived in Mesa with our stepfather. They lived in the house that sister and I grew up in. My mother had remarried three years after my dad passed away of heart attack. I was 13 when he died and Alice was only nine. Emmet who was 15 at the time, two years older than me. He was Carlisle only son.

When my mother met my step dad Carlisle, she was afraid that I would not approve of him. I had gotten to know him very well and were happy for our mother to have found someone else in her life. My mother did have another child with Carlisle a year after they were married,my sister Alice. My family has always been very supportive of each other. We always manage to take care of each other and help out when necessary.

I finished talking to my mother and hour later. I needed to get out. I decided the mall was an ideal place to walk and clear my head. I don't know why but it it seemed to help just to be around other people. I stumbled across the Barnes and Noble.

**Journal Entry #1**

_February 20, 2011_

_It's Sunday; a friend suggested I should keep journal to write what I am thinking. Here I am writing in a journal I just bought from Barnes and Noble bookstore. I found a nice pen to keep with it._

_The last three days have been really hard. I left work early on Wednesday feeling very sick to my stomach. I had been thinking about the night Tanya died. I cried all night. It seems very hard to let her go. I went out drinking with some friends on Friday and took a girl home. One-night stands are not usually my thing, but that night I didn't care._

_I don't think I am doing this right. How do you write in a journal? I will figure this out. My friend Eric said to write how I am feeling about Tanya and why I can't let her go. He said it would help me to figure that out. He mentions not to write about my day because that's not what a journal is for. OK well I am new at this and it is my first entry. Do I sign this at the end?_

Monday morning; I got up at 6am to head back to work. I was feeling a little better, but I was still thinking about . I had a rough weekend and was looking forward to going back to work. I was happy to get back in the office. Angela was waiting for me with a cup of coffee and some my schedule for the day.

"Welcome back, sir?" Angela said with a smile.

"Thanks" I said back. "Good to be back, Angela."

"You have three appointments before 11, then you have a meeting with the board at noon lunch will be provide." She told as came in the office.

"OK, perfect a board meeting as soon as I get back to work." I said shaking my head. "Lovely."

"It's nothing bad, sir I can assure you."

"I know it's just the monthly meeting."

"Yes, sir."

"Angela, thanks you are great assistant."

"Just doing my job."

"I know that's why I hired you because I knew you could do the job."

"Thanks, sir I do my best." she said smiling. "Oh by the way I left some proofs on your desk to look over."

"Thanks, Angela." I said as I entered my office and sat at my desk.

Angela was the best assistant ever. If she wasn't dating my Eric I would sweep her off her feet. After lunch the day went very smoothly, I finished looking over the proofs that Angela had left on my desk and sent them to the printing press. At five I headed home for the day feeling relieved to get back at what I do best. It felt good to get back in the office, but I still had Monica on my mind. I wanted to let her go, I just didn't feel ready to do that yet. As I went to my car I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. It was Alice.

"Hey, little Sis." I answered.

"Hey Edward, I was calling to see if you could come over tonight?" she asked me.

"Sure what's the occasion?"

"Oh no occasion. I just wanted to introduce someone to you." Alice said with a smile in her voice. "If that's OK with you, will you come?"

"Yes I will be there. What time?"

"How about six?"

"OK I see you then."

As I hung up I wondered what my sister was up to. She was always so sneaky about things. I remember how she set me up on a blind date with one of her friends thinking I would like her. I am sitting at a table for two at the Olive Garden on German and Gilbert Road. My sister had made the reservations under my name. She had planned to set me up with one of her friends in hope that I would go out and date. I didn't understand my sister sometimes. After about five minutes I notice the hostess bringing a beautiful young brunette towards me. I thought about that night it was the worse blind date ever.

_"Hi, you must be Edward. Alice's brother." she said smiling reaching my hand to shake._

_"Yes, I am." I said shaking her hand._

_"I'm Melissa." she replied. "It's nice to finally meet you. Your sister has told me so munch about you."_

_"Hmm I'm sure she has."_

_"She speaks very highly of you."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes she very proud to have you as her brother."_

_"Good glad to hear. Shall we order?"_

_"Yes please, I'm famished."_

_I ordered the Marsala Stuffed Chicken and she had ordered a Ravioli Trio special. We ate our meal and had a few laughs. It was nice until she kept talking about her cat. After dinner we went to see a movie. She chose the new Transformer movie. After the movie was done I took her home, we exchanged phone numbers and said good night. I didn't call her back for a second date._

Shaking off that horrible date. I start the engine and head out_. _Once I reach my apartment I hurry inside to change. Then I head over to my sister's house to see what she was up to. When I arrived at my sister's house a young woman was sitting next to her on the porch. I shook my head and combed my hand through my hair.

"Hey big brother." Alice said with a smile.

"Hey Alice." I said. " How is it going today?"

"Not much." she replied, "I like you to meet my friend Isabella she works at the Starbucks around the corner."

"Really" I said holding out my hand. "I'm Edward."

"Nice to meet Edward." Isabella said shaking my hand.

"So what has my sister told you about me?" asked laughing.

"She says your very charming person." She answered.

"Really" I replied looking at my sister with one eye borrow up.

"What" Alice looked back at me smiling. "You are charming Edward."

I couldn't help but wonder about my sister. She was always so sneaky about things it drove me crazy. I always wondered how Jasper put up with her. It seem like my sister was this perfect matchmaker. I remember in high school how she would always set up with her friends. That was Alice always trying to get me the ladies she that would be perfect for me. When they didn't work out she would be disappointed then try again. I tried to tell that when right one came I would know it.

We talked on the porch for a while before going inside. I could kill Alice for doing what she did. Why does she do this to me? I swear she does this kind of thing on purpose, but Isabella seemed different from the rest. Maybe she was the right one this time.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Journal Entry #2_

_February 21, 2011_

_It's evening; I just got home from my sister's house. Met a friend of hers who is the same girl I saw in Starbucks the other day. It's funny she looks a lot like Tanya. Same hair color, same eyes, I swear I thought I was looking at Tanya's Twin._

_She mentions that she was a student studying Photography at ASU. She was beautiful like Tanya was and had an angelic voice like Tanya did. Isabella was a few years younger than me, which was ok. Tanya was a year younger than me. I remember the first time I met Tanya. It was love at first sight. I still miss her very much._

When I went back to work the next day I got swapped with proofing and meetings. I knew that I was going to be here late probably until 7 or 8 in the evening. It had been happening a lot lately. I had been baring myself in work for the last few days. I have been trying not to think bout Tanya and has been helping a little. I needed to get out again and start seeing other people.

It was Thursday morning; Angela gave me the usual run down of my day's work, appointments, meetings, proofs, etc. Everyday was the same at CDT and I enjoyed it very munch. I went to ASU you to study journalism and photography. It's where I earned my degree. I still enjoy photography as a hobby. I love taking pictures of scenery, especially the ocean. Tanya admired my photos she always told me how beautiful they were and how talented I was.

I use to be on my high school's newspaper as a photographer slash reporter as my editor would put it. Even my mother enjoys my photos and always asks me to take pictures of family get together. When I look at the clock it's time to go home. The day had gone by very quickly today.

"Angela, I'm headed out for the day." I said in tried voice.

"Ok, sir I'll see you tomorrow" She replied back.

"See you tomorrow Angela" I said leaving for the elevator.

I stepped into the elevator and pushed button to the lobby. I started to think about Isabella, which seemed strange to me because in the last few days all I could think about was Tanya. My sister Alice suggested I should ask her out on a date. I didn't really understand why but she thought it would help get my mine off Tanya. That night I called Isabella.

"Hello," she answered.

"Hi Isabella it's Edward" I answered back.

"Oh hi Edward, I was wondering when you were going to call me up." she said.

I laughed, "Umm I was wondering you were free tonight?"

"Yea, I am free tonight what did you have in mind?"

"Well I have this dinner meeting I have to go to and was wondering if you would like to come with me?"

"Ok so you are asking on a date?"

"Well it's not really a date, date. I just need to have someone with because it kind of awkward if I go alone."

"Sure, I love to!"

"Great I'll pick you up at 5PM?"

"All right see you at 5PM."

I hung up the phone smiling. This would be my first date since Tanya's passing. I felt really good about myself knowing that this would be the first step in letting her go. Although I was not sure how Iasbella would help. I had to move on with my life I knew that much. It was time to let Tanya go. I wanted to get to know Isabella because my sister said she would help me heal. Alice had mentioned something about her losing her brother a year ago. I was curious on how she could help me heal over losing my beloved Tanya.

At 4'oclock I started to get for my date with Isabella. I hadn't decided where I was going to take her I thought I would just wing it tonight. When I got to Isabella's apartment I knocked on the door and her roommate answered the door.

"Hi, can I help you?" her roommate asked.

"Yes I'm here to pick up Isabella." I replied.

"Oh you must be Edward, I'm Jessica her roommate" she answered. "Come in and have seat I'll let her know you're here."

"Thank you," I said as I sat down on the worn out leather couch.

A few minutes later her roommate came back out and said she would be right out. I shook my head with a smile and waited. Isabella's roommate sat down on the couch and pick up her textbook. The named of the textbook was Psychology. I asked what she was majoring in.

"I'm studying to be an archeologist." She answered back.

"Archeology. My sister husband is an Archeologist."

"Really!"

"Yeah he's always traveling the world." I told her.

"Wow." she said.

"Yeah."

"No,look." She pointed towards the hallway. I looked in the direction she was pointing. She was beautiful like a model coming down the runway. I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart pounded in my chest.

"You look beautiful." I said.

Isabella smiled, "Thank you."

"Ready to go." I held out my hand.

"Yes."

We left her apartment and headed for my company's dinner. When we got there I showed her around, we ate dinner then left. I wanted to ask her out on a real date. When asked if she was free next Friday she replied: "Yes, I be happy to." Perhaps my sister Alice was right it was time to move on. Tanya wasn't coming back and I needed to live my life. It was time for me to stop living as if she was still here. I was hoping maybe Isabella could help me let Tanya go.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: __Sorry to keep you guys waiting, but I have been busy. Real life has been pretty busy. Well here is the next chapter Edward and Bella are getting along great. Hope you enjoy._

Chapter 5

_Journal Entry # 3_

_March 3, 2011_

_Sorry, I missed a few days of writing but things were busy at work and I've been so tried that I went straight to bed. It has been hectic at work deadlines after deadlines. My mind has gone crazy I need a break._

_Everything seems to be going well with Isabella though she prefers Bella. Our second date was great. I look forward to the next. I wonder to myself if meeting Bella when I did that it was a sign from Tanya telling me I need to move on. Not that I didn't think about before it just been hard for me to deal with her being gone. _

_There is one good thing about my sister Alice she always seems to know what I need. At times I am glad I have Alice. She is always there for me when I need her. I wish I could say the same for my older brother Emmett._

Days seem to go by quickly anymore. Bella and I are headed on our third or fourth date I lost track. We along very well which is a good thing because she helps keep mind off Tanya. She knows what I am going through because she lost her fiancée' Jacob in the World Trade Center when it fell.

She told me it was hard at first because they were days away from there wedding day. She had just bought her wedding dress, had all the preparations made when it happen. Bella said it took nearly a year before she could cope with reality again. When I told her what happen to Tanya she took my hand and said she will help get over her.

Bella had moved to Arizona to pursue a degree in Computer Graphics. She also wanted a fresh start. I really enjoy my time with her and for me it is good to get out. My friends are happy to see me back on my game and not mopping around like the undead. I was just glad to have someone to talk to who understood what I was going through.

Bella knew how I was feeling the first time I told her. She was kind in so many ways. Tonight I had something special planned for her.

"Bella are ready?" I asked her when I picked her up.

"Yes" she replied. "What do have planned for tonight?"

"I thought I surprise you."

"I like surprises." I took her hand as we walked towards my car.

After taking her to dinner I started to drive up the road towards the mountains. Bella soon figured out where I was taking her. She had never been up the mountains she told me.

Once at the top we walked out to the lookout. The view was breathtaking. The lights from the city shimmer in the night. Up here it's like nothing can touch you. Bella gasped at the sight. She smiled then put her arm around me. We sat down on a bench.

"Wow, I never seen Phoenix look so beautiful." She said leaning her head on my shoulder.

I smiled and leaned my head on hers. It was nice to finally be with someone perhaps even better to be happy again. When we got back to the city I took her to dinner then strolled in the park.

"Thank you for a wonderful evening." Bella said grasping my hand.

"Your welcome" I replied.

"Did you ever take Tanya up there?"

I froze at the mention of Tanya's name.

"Edward, you okay?"

"Yeah I'm sorry." I dropped her hand and walked over to a bench. I sat down putting my head in my hands.

"You it helps to talk about it." She said sitting down next to me.

I leaned back. "I still can't believe she's gone."

"It was same for me with Jacob."

"Really?"

"Yeah." She sighed then crossed her legs. "I was like you still in shock that he was never going to be with me again."

"Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't been such an asshole maybe still be alive." I said holding back tears.

"Edward, that accident wasn't your fault. Just like Jacob's plane crashing into the towers wasn't his. Things happen." She said squeezing my knee.

"How can you be so brave?" I lips trembled.

"I don't know, but I do know that Tanya would want you to move on."

I looked in eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes reassuring that everything was going to be okay. I sniff grabbed my handkerchief out of my packet. Wiped the tears from my eyes then wiped my noise. I turned to her she was gazing at me smiling that beautiful. I licked my lips then lean forward and kissed her.

_**March 4, 2011**_

_**Tonight was a good night. Bella and I had our first kiss it was great. We talk a lot today and I feel as if finally I can let Tanya go. It is a relief to talk to someone who understands. I hope to see more of Bella. I really enjoy her company. She is an extraordinary woman. She's brave, kind, caring and I think I have fallen in love with her. Yes I can't believe it. I yet I have only just met her.**_

After last night I wanted to see Bella again. I decided to take her for a weekend gateway. When she agreed to go with me I immediately made arrangements. It was going to be the best weekend ever. I wanted to have some fun for change. After five months of being depressed I wanted to get away.

Before I could go I had to visit Tanya's grave. I wanted to tell her about her Bella. I drove through the gate to the site. When I reached the site where her stone was I stepped out of my car. Walking to her stone I kneel down.

"Hey Tanya." I spoke. "I wanted to tell about you Bella. She great. Beautiful like you were. I don't know if I'm ready to let you go just yet." I laugh. "I know it was you sent her my way. Thank you. I know I will let you go when I am ready."

Later after returning from the cemetery I started packing for my trip with Bella. Just as started packing my phone buzzed. I took it out of my pocket. I hoped it wasn't Bella saying she couldn't make it. To my relief it wasn't her. I sighed. Though it was my mother I wonder what she couldn't want.

"Hello" I answered.

"Edward."

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked.

"It's your Father, Carlisle." She replied.

"Carlisle, Mom what happened?"

"Oh Edward, He's hand a heart attack."

I gasp. _No!_ Not now. What to do?


End file.
